Now, we've 'heard it all'!
A North Carolina insurance company, SafeGuard, is offering a policy known as WedLock. - However, that name refers to a policy that could (operative word, 'could') pay you $ if your marriage ends in divorce.
Our concern is that an insured would pay the company approximately $16 per month for $1,250 worth of coverage. The idea of the policy is to help you cover some of the costs associated with a divorce, including legal fees. Typically, it seems, you would have a 2 year waiting period before you could use the insurance.
As with any insurance, we advise you to review the details, carefully, and not be afraid to ask questions.
Economics and Men & Women Having An Affair/s
According to a study which will be presented at the 105th Annual Meeting of the American Sociological Association, men who are either very dependent upon their wives for financial support or those men who make much more money than their wives, are substantialy more likely to cheat than other men. Meanwhile, women who greatly depend financially on their husband are less apt to stray.
According to Adopting.Org, the divorce rate among couples with more children is less than that of childless couples and those with a few children. Likewise, if the children are older, the odds of divorce are more likely.
So, what is the lesson to learn? We believe it is that you should work especially hard to stay together not only for your sakes, but for your children. However, you must be willing to work on your marriage and let your children know just how special a marriage can be!
Divorce Rates Among Major U.S. Religious Groups According To American
Religious Identification Survey 2008 Divorce rates are lowest among Mormons and Jews. Why? There are many theories, but the very strong emphasis on marriage and family is one possible reason. Yet, obviously, every marriage brings it's own strengths and weaknesses to the table.
FAMOUS LONG-TERM MARRIED COUPLES
Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward Fred McMurray and June Haver, both actors - married for 37 years Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick Sharon Osborne and Ozzy Osbourne Jamie Lee Curtis & Christopher Guest Felicity Huffman & William H. Macy Annette Bening and Warren Beatty
Facebook Is Thought To Be A Large Factor In Divorces
According to a law firm that specializes in divorce proceedings, approximately 20% of cases mentioned Facebook. And, sexually charged/ flirtatious messages/ postings were common.
People often use Facebook/ similar sites to re-connect with old flames. A 'dangerous' practice.
But, remember, that affairs are frequently the result of a breakdown in physical/ sexual intimacy. And that one or both spouses feel neglected by the other.
A study of many participants of a longterm health study has yielded some interesting information. That the divorce rate of friends/ family can influence the likelihood of our divorcing or not.
Also, children do not seem to increase the odds of our getting divorced. Actually, children appear to decrease the odds that we will split, based upon the divorcing of friends.
Check out the study, Breaking Up is Hard to Do, Unless Everyone Else is Doing
it Too: Social Network Effects on Divorce in a Longitudinal Sample Followed for
32 Years, by Rose McDermott University of California, Santa Barbara -
Department of Political Science, Nicholas A. Christakis Harvard University - Department of
Health Care Policy, and James H. Fowler University of California, San Diego -
Department of Political Science. http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1490708 More 'Marriage Facts' If your parents were divorced, the odds of you getting divorced are 41% higher than if they had an intact marriage. (Source: Nicholas Wolfinger, Understanding the Divorce Cycle, Cambridge
University Press, 2005 A consumption increase of 1 liter of alcohol per capita brings about an increase in the divorce rate of about 20% (Source: Journal
of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs)
Marriage Reconciliation: Will It Work?
By: Areelitaha-Joahlanski
was an easy thing divorces wouldn't be so prevalent. And the people who try and do a marriage reconciliation wouldn't need to worry. Because there wouldn't be any problems that needed to be solved. However, we don't live in a fairy tale world, and there are problems. Of course first things first, whether your marriage will work or not will depend a lot on what your problems were. Although some people do try marriage reconciliation after an affair, in most cases
that will not
work. It's really hard to trust a person who's already betrayed your trust, no matter how much you love them. In some situations it may be a bit tougher to work past problems that caused the split. Maybe your spouse got in trouble with the law, or they did drugs, or cheated. Reasons like these are a bit harder to work past no matter how long you may have split up. Not that the subject matter is funny, but in a way it is. A friend and her husband have an opposite thought process on swinging. If you are not
up on that lingo, it's when a couple will include others outside of the marriage in their bedroom. I'm not an expert but resenting a spouse is not a great step in marriage reconciliation. Make sure you are thinking of getting back together for all the right reasons. Some people even consider monetary problems as a reason to get back together. But this is hard to make work too, because money will cause
a bunch of problems even in the best of marriages. Needless to say, it is a bit funny for those outside of the story, but they split for a while due to this. But shortly after a marriage reconciliation was attempted. The only reason they decided to try again were they still loved each other, and he apologized. Also keep in mind that marriage reconciliation shouldn't just be done for children in a marriage. Because a child will not grow up happy just because mommy and daddy are together if they are always at each other's throats. It may actually cause even more problems in the long run. Try marriage reconciliation for the right reasons,
not just to do it. If you have no more love for your spouse, tell them that. Holding stuff in is what could have caused the problems to start with. Why not give the spouse in your relationship the benefit of the doubt, and be honest with them. But if you honestly feel a marriage reconciliation will work by all means do it. Work out those problems for the better of everyone involved. That's one less divorce that will go into the statistic
books and a happy husband and wife who may be together forever. Just because they tried a marriage reconciliation instead of just getting a divorce.
Ask someone why they had, or are having an
affair and you may hear something like this: “I have a lousy marriage. My marriage is dead. There is no
intimacy, no sex, and no excitement. The love is gone. We’ve grown apart. I can’t stand the
marriage. There was nothing happening in the marriage and the affair just
happened.”
These statements are rationalizations and fail
to “get at” the underlying issues.
Key points:
1. It’s as if a marriage is an animal gone bad.
A marriage does not have a life of it’s own. In reality, there is no such thing
as a “marriage.” One is “married” as a result of making some promises and
signing a paper at one point. After the paper is signed, two people continue communicating and acting toward one another in
particular ways that they hope will help them get what they individually want.
Just as there is no “marriage,” there is no such thing as a “relationship.” There are, however, ways of
relating for which each person is responsible. Remember the comedian Flip Wilson
(that dates me) and his “The devil made me do it” skit?
2. We idealize “marriage” or “romantic
relationships” with the expectation we will get what we want, without much
effort to boot. The movies, popular public press and romance novels/stories
don’t help much here. A “marriage” is behind the eight ball from the word go.
“IT” can’t win.
3. From day one most of us don’t have a clue
about how to get, build, nurture and maintain healthy and intimate ways of
relating. We need ‘love 101’ and it’s not there. We rely upon experimentation or
bad models.
4. If the “marriage” is dead, why in the world
would one choose to have an affair? Talk about jumping from the frying pan into
the fire. It really is stupid. You add a whole layer of deceit and shame that
eventually will result in consequences more dire than approaching your spouse
and saying, “I’m really unhappy. What I’m doing with you obviously is not
working. I want out.” Oh well, maybe some people need more problems and
suffering.
5. If the “marriage” is bad, obviously, I don’t
have to look at me. I can blame “it” or the other. Some of us find it difficult
to look at me. Some of us don’t know how to look at me. Some of us never think
of looking at me.
Tip: If your partner/spouse is having and affair and blames it
on the “marriage,” don’t buy into it. The “marriage” is not the problem. You are
not the problem. Your spouse/partner chose the affair out of ignorance, fear or
inadequacy.
The “My Marriage Made Me Do It” is just one of
7 affairs outlined in my E-book, “Break Free From the Affair.” For more
information on the issues behind the other kinds of affairs and tips for dealing
with them, go to:
http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com
Article Tags: Marriage Made
Source: Free Articles from ArticlesFactory.com
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach,
has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of
extramarital affairs and survive infidelity
SEPARATE BEDS - Good For Marriages? Ever since TV shows left the '50s and '60s behind, with the twin beds for the married stars, the word has been that only troubled marriages have separate beds or even different bedrooms for the spouses. - But, is that true? - Well, in many instances the answer is 'Yes'.
However, there are many marriages that are saved by this. Because of snoring, tossing & turning, differeing sleep schedules... there are many people who swear that their marriage was helped by this type of separation. Better rest. Less tension... And, when they choose to connect and share a bed for sex, the passion and satisfaction is greater!
So, learn what will work best for your situation. The worst that happens is that you go back to sleeping together, nightly.
Unhappy in Marriage – Being unhappy in marriage can result from depression
Unhappy in marriage? It could be that you're
unhappy in marriage because you’re clinically depressed. And as anyone who has
dealt with serious depression knows, it can wreak havoc on you as an individual,
as well as significantly impact your spouse and your marriage. That’s why it’s
absolutely crucial, when you’re unhappy in your marriage, that you take
responsibility for your own individual emotional health. Many times, couples who
are unhappy in marriage think something’s wrong with their relationship, when
often it’s an individual problem that has repercussions in the marriage. The
fact is that if one partner is emotionally unhealthy or unhappy, it’s going to
be hard for the marriage as a whole to be healthy and happy.
So if you’re unhappy in marriage and a primary
reason is that you’re dealing with depression, we urge you to see a professional
who can help you. There’s a good chance that with therapy and possibly medication, you can begin to deal effectively with
your unhappiness.
It’s also important that you get clear on the
facts about depression, and how it can make you unhappy in marriage. The more
knowledge you can attain regarding what you’re going through, the quicker you
can move toward recovery. A good place to start when you’re feeling unhappy in
marriage is the major categories of depression:
Endogenous Depression and unhappiness in marriage
Being unhappy in marriage may result from
endogenous depression, which comes from a biochemical disturbance in the
hormonal system, the nervous system, or even from an infection in the body. It
seems to arise spontaneously, is usually found in the elderly or in psychotic
disorders, and requires medical intervention.
Reactive Depression and unhappiness in marriage
Being unhappy in marriage may also result from
reactive (or exogenous) depression, which occurs as a result of a real,
imagined, or threatened loss and usually lasts no longer than a few months. This
is the typical depression found in adolescents, and for them, counseling is the usual treatment.
Neurotic Depression and unhappiness in
marriage
Being unhappy in marriage may also result from
neurotic depression, which is a lifestyle response to stress and anxiety. It is
used to escape from other emotions and develops over a long period of
time.
Masked Depression and unhappiness in
marriage
Finally, being unhappy in marriage may result
from masked depression. Here the depression is hidden by other symptoms. For example, a teenager who has lost a
parent may cover his or her depression by acting out sexually or abusing
drugs.
Being acquainted with these different types of
depression lets you begin to shine the light of awareness on any unhappiness in
marriage that you and your spouse are dealing with.
Source: Free Articles from ArticlesFactory.com
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
eHarmony Marriage is a new, online alternative to marriage counseling. It's a private, personalized program
that is designed to help you enjoy a stronger, happier and healthier relationship. We use your answers to our marriage
questionnaire to focus on your areas of greatest need. http://marriage.eharmony.com
Are You Ready For Marriage Help Groups? By: Kelly Purden
For couples who have marital problems, the usual solution seems to be to go to a marriage counsellor or to try to solve the problems by themselves. While either option can work for some couples, they may not necessarily be what works best for you. One option you can consider is joining marriage help groups. What are the benefits of attending marriage help groups? For one thing, if you and your partner are conscious of the costs of
counselling and therapy, joining these groups is actually cheaper than having two-on-one sessions with a counsellor or therapist. Also in this setting, you and your spouse don't get the feeling that you are cut off from the rest of the world entirely. Sometimes, it can help to know that the two of you are not the only ones having marital problems. The other participants may also be able to offer you support and guidance on what best to do in your particular circumstance. Each person there can provide a different
insight into your situation which can then help you to understand your situation better. Like with a marriage counsellor, they can provide a somewhat objective viewpoint of your marriage and give you feedback about your strengths and weaknesses as well as what you can change to help improve your marriage. Another advantage of working in a group is being able to learn from each other's stories. As one couple's problem is discussed, you can learn to apply it to your situation or in future circumstances that
may arise in your marriage. Conversely, when it is you and your spouse's turn to share, other couples may be able to learn something from the two of you. If attending group sessions is not feasible for either of you but you like the benefits that it can provide, you can try searching the internet. There are lots of online marriage help groups and forums you can turn to for additional advice. Online groups have the added benefit of anonymity which makes it easier to share the more personal details of your marriage. One
of the downsides of marriage help groups is that they can end up being too time consuming since in addition to your problems, you have to listen to the issues of other couples, as well as perform group exercises with them. Also, there may be some issue regarding how much they can help you, considering that there is less attention on you and your concerns, and the solution presented may not work for you given all of the circumstances that contribute to your situation. Another issue that may arise is if
you feel that what you are going through is too personal. In this case, marriage help groups may not be effective for you since this will require you to share as much as possible in order for others to help you. The important thing when it comes to deciding if you will attend marriage help groups, is if both of you will be comfortable in this set-up because in the end, it will be the two of you who will make your marriage work.
Marriages are taken for granted. After the honeymoon period is over, couples
co exist. Most of the time without any charm in their married life. Everything
becomes a routine- eating, sleeping, everything becomes highly predictable and
dull. If kids arrive in the life of a married couple, which they invariably do,
the attention shifts more to upbringing of the children.
What happened to the early romance? Why does a marriage kill a perfect
romance? Why do people break up and divorce each other so soon after the
marriage? What happens in the period of their married life that brings it to
either a dull existence or an end?
The very first change that can be noticed is -care. Yes, before marriage, a
partner is more worried about how to take care of the other partner. After
marriage it is the other way round. Why are you not paying any attention to my
needs? Why do you not care for me? Why are you acting so selfishly? Why is your
work more important than me? Why can you not wash the dishes alone? Yes, I agree
that you need a holiday badly, but where is the money? Accusations of different
types fly around and make a hell of what was heavenly togetherness earlier.
Keeping one's married life happy is very essential. Complaining about the
partner will not help, but understanding each other's needs and trying to
fulfill them will. Partners need to go back in life and look for that spark that
kindled the love in the first place. What did you admire in your partner before
marriage? Do you still admire that or not? What did you like before that you
hate now? Reflect. Go back and think. Bring that charm back. Complimenting each
other for the smallest act, expressing happiness of living together, letting the
partner know how much you value her/him and so many small things that make the
other partner happy must be done daily.
Why ignore your husband or wife and feel envious about other couples. Why not
create a happy life that others envy? Why not make the other partner feel needed
and good at all the times. Why not forgive even a big blunder? Why not put
yourself in your partner's shoes and think about the life he/she is living. Why
not bring the romance back by going for candle light dinners, or watching the
sunset together? Let the sun set, but keep your marriage happy.
The author likes to write articles. He also writes text and consults for
internet and social networking content like Twitter
backgrounds and quizzes
Advice For a
Marriage - How to Deal With the "M" Word
by D.
A. Campbell
Do not think that for one minute it plays
favorites. It has intruded on couples that have been married for
twenty plus years and made a mess of things. At the opposite end
of the scale, newlyweds just starting out with dreams of love that
they believe will sustain them through anything and everything have
gotten a rude wake up call. And couples in between newlywed and long
term have felt the sting. It has broken up many marriages and
engagements for that matter. You never know when it's going to strike
but it's always out there even when you think that you have got a
handle on it. The it is money and through the years it has tested
many a relationship. Some have passed with flying colors; others were
not so fortunate. Even those that came thru have the scars to prove
it. The truth is talking about money is an integral part of any
relationship. You and your significant other are pooling your
resources to work for a better life. There is also no escaping the
reality that money makes the world go round. The dream house, the
nice car, food on the table, traveling to a romantic getaway and
keeping the lights are not freebies. It also does not help either
that the cost of living keeps rising and the economy is in shambles.
Couples know this going into the relationship but still they get
blindsided. Money can do that if you and your spouse are not careful.
1. Talk Now People see the same exact thing and give
completely different answers as well as perspectives. Money is one of
those things. Do they believe in saving for a rainy day or are they
of the mindset that life is short so spend it while you can?
Realizing there were two different philosophies at play has come as
an unpleasant surprise to a lot of couples. Talking now may save
you another surprise and that is your significant other has debt.
They may have managed to keep a roof over their head but their life
is short philosophy has come at a price they cannot afford. Even
spouses that have been married a few years were stunned to find out
that when it comes to finances their significant other was leading a
double life.
2. Same Book Different Chapter Both of you
have been doing a good job with the family finances in particular
saving money. But one spouse thinks that the movie size flat screen
TV monitor they saw online (serious high definition) would sure look
good on that empty wall in the living room. Meanwhile the other
spouse also went on line and saw the perfect vacation package; a nice
cruise with all the trimmings at a great price. A difference of
opinion on how to utilize money is going to happen. Some have used it
as a stepping stone to find the middle ground. It does not
necessarily mean they are happy with the decision. However both
accept the fact that some sort of compromise was needed. Or they may
even decide to take turns. This time around one spouse gets their way
but both work hard to make sure that in the near future the other
spouse also gets their way. Needless to say a few couples use
that difference of opinion as a starting point to tearing the
marriage apart.
3. Your Mad Money The two of you respect
and understand each other's likes and dislikes. It doesn't mean you
want to go along with it completely. So you decide it is in the best
interest of the relationship to have your own separate accounts. This
is okay as long as it does not take away from what should be the main
focus; the overall financial health of the family. If you decide to
put a certain amount into your separate account that is fine. But
understand that life intrudes and some months a percentage of that
money is going to have to be redirected into the family budget. Mad
money is a terrific way to pamper yourself and we all need that from
time to time. But keep it secondary. It is hard to avoid the talk
of money in any relationship. Even if a couple is financially well
off the discussion can still come up. And like other hot button
issues such as politics and religion, if you are not careful the
discussion can get very heated and very emotional with both sides
digging in their heels and refusing to budge.
Article written
by Daryl Campbell at The Relationship Tip. Click
here to improve the bond between you and your significant other
beyond your wildest dreams. Article Source: ArticleSnatch
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Let us know how the book has helped your marriage or that of a friend or relative. Email us by clicking here.
Marriage Counseling - Respect and Boundaries in Marriage
Many people think that boundaries are like a “keep out” fence that distance you from your spouse. In fact, appropriate boundaries bring you closer in Marriage. Respect is one of the foundational aspects of a close and healthy marriage. We all want and deserve respect. Below is a list of boundaries and ways to show your spouse respect. Employing these suggestions will have a very positive effect on your marriage.
Secrets are appropriate for birthdays and Christmas! Otherwise secrets are very damaging to a marriage. Secrets and lies are cousins. Secrets are unexpressed lies and have no place in a close relationship. Secrets often are about money and relationships. We do not have to share things from our past that we have repented of and that do not affect your relationship today.
Keep your mate’s flaws private. Do not discuss your spouse’s flaws with your family or friends. This is very disrespectful to your mate. The first person you should talk to is your spouse. Sit down and have an honest discussion about the problem. If your mate’s flaws become damaging to your relationship, seek out the help of your Pastor or a Counselor.
On a similar note, keep your marriage problems private. Seek help from your Pastor or seek Marriage Counseling. Sometimes even reading a good book on the subject may help; especially if the two of you read it together. Sharing your problems with family or friends tends to polarize the situation. Rarely, even if we are sure about it, is the person we go to objective. After all, they are our friend or family member and they care about us so much that they may not be objective.
It is important to create appropriate division of household chores and parenting responsibilities. In the current day and age often there are two wage earners in the home. When Mom stays at home with the kids, she can be just as, if not more exhausted than Dad.
In a Marriage, there is no place for close “personal “friends of the opposite sex. This can create significant problems in a relationship. Affairs often develop out of situations where a person goes to their friend because “they are not being understood” at home. When the “friend” steps in and fills that role it is fertile ground for an affair to develop. You may say that you are not that kind of person to let that happen. As Marriage Counselors, we hear those very words from many couples who come to us to try to heal from adultery. Be wise and make your spouse your only close friend of the opposite sex.
One of the biggest complaints people make when they come in for marriage counseling is that they do not feel like they are number one with their spouse. This is true for men and women. It could be friends, work, hobbies, extended family, children or many other things. The best marriages always have husband and wife putting their spouse first (after God).
Marriages thrive on closeness. Find ways to return to the closeness you once had. Look for ways to reduce boundaries between you and your spouse, leaving only healthy boundaries, and create healthy boundaries between your relationship and the outside world that protects your marriage.
About Marriage Rescue Associates | Marriage Counseling
With over 23 years of experience, Marriage Rescue Associates have discovered many effective methods for helping couples restore their family and marriages. As Christian Marriage Counselors, Marriage Rescue Associates can help construct solutions to rekindle love and rebuild trust that has been torn down by endless conflict, indifference, and unmet needs.
Don’t let your marriage or family become another statistic when you can actually do something to change it.
Seek out Marriage Counseling from an experienced Marriage Counselor that understands your situation and makes you feel comfortable with them.
To learn more about Marriage Rescue Associates, visit us online at www.marriagerescue.org
Email us by clicking here. 
