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MARRIAGE MOMENT
HOW TO KNOW WHEN
YOUR MARRIAGE IS IN TROUBLE While these are offered 'tongue-in-cheek', some might hit home, especially if you take the point being made 'down-a-notch'. - If you have any additions for this listing, please email them to us!
Instead of completing your sentence for you, they hijack it.
Arguing is the only form of communication.
Going to a tea kettle swap meet is simply another way to avoid spending time with one another.
They want to remove your name from the mortgage and car note.
A multi-million dollar insurance policy is taken out on your life.
Big-time bookies are taking bets on how long you will stay married.
They hug everyone, but you.
You long for an argument because that would demonstrate that they still care, to some extent.
The regular, eagerly anticipated, little acts of affection stop.
They don't ask how your day was, but they ask the traveling salesperson how theirs was.
They can't seem to move far enough to the opposite side of your king-size bed.
There's a dividing board down the middle of your bed.
Your table setting is in the 'other room', not the kitchen or dining room.
They ask your boss to keep you working late. Real late.
They use your negligee or bathrobe as a dust rag.
You come home to discover a sleeping bag and no other funishings. And, no sign of them.
They buy a twin-sized sleep sofa. For you!
They screen your phone calls.
Before having relations, they give you a bag with eye, nose, and mouth holes, to wear over your head.
The dog gets the pillow and you get the foot of the bed.
They don't want you to turn off the Tonight Show, so that you can be sexually intimate.
The face on their computer's screensaver is that of the neighborhood hunk/ cutie.